On the fertility website that I sometimes peruse, I got sucked into reading a 23 page post that someone started, essentially for anyone to vent their frustrations about infertility, titled "Why I hate infertility today." I found myself reading post after post, nodding and thinking "Yeah! YEAH! Me too!" In my head, I started listing all the reasons that I hate infertility too.
And then I stopped reading for a minute to pop into the kitchen to check on the bread that's baking in the oven. I took a second to pause and admire the screen print that my husband and I picked out today as we wandered around our city's annual flea market for handmade art and crafts. I grabbed a chunk of dark chocolate from the one-pound Trader Joe's bar that we keep for emergencies and when I sat back down, the nicest cat ever climbed on my lap.
It occurred to me that infertility really sucks. But that doesn't mean life sucks. Sometimes it's difficult not to confuse the two, but today maybe I could try a little harder.
So on another day, I will make my list of why I hate infertility, because anyone who has been through this is certainly justified in venting. But today, I think I'll let the bread baking in the oven and the purring cat keep me warm against the cold breeze from the infertility curveball that got tossed through the window. And I'll be happy in this moment knowing that "Infertility" most certainly does not = "Life."